Friday is release day. “Complications” will be my 40th book, the 39th in the series. I was sitting and thinking about that over the past week and I wondered why I never really made a big deal about each new release. I mean, I’m incredibly proud of each book and I have amazing support all around me, but I don’t really do much for myself when it comes to each release.
I think a lot of it is because these characters and books are always with me. Since I write a series, it’s like I never stop telling the stories. I have to think about where each book ends as the story is ongoing in my head. I also think of these books and characters as my family.
Now I don’t mean that to sound in any way pathetic or sad. I have a beautiful and loving family that is real and here for me. It’s more of the aspect of my life each character helps me with.
When I need to look critically and analytically at things, I picture Jack and I try to reason my way through issues. I also try not to focus too much on the ‘numbers’ or ‘stats’ because that never shows the whole picture.
When I find myself beginning to feel some part of my disease poke its head around and I start to get anxious because of tingling in my arms or legs, I think of Stephanie and I see her taking time to relax and breathe and work through it. I also remind myself, as she does, that she isn’t alone and it’s okay to need help.
When I see my students stressed about life and love and how sometimes the things they go through are so overwhelming and all encompassing and they are at their limits, I think of Brittany and I’m reminded that things will always get better. Showing grace and empathy comes from experience and sometimes, simply being the listening ear in a difficult situation is the most important thing one can do. She taught me that. She still does.
When I just need to believe in romance and compassion and commitment and optimism, I think of Tommy. He isn’t always perfect, but he is so good at finding the silver lining in all situations and there is no one better at simply holding you and making everything in your life better. When he loves, it’s with everything he is. He represents all I ever wanted in a partner. He is my hero.
When I get irritated and begin to take things too personally, or my feelings get hurt and I feel like the world is against me, I think of Julie. She is the best example of tenacity and courage. She is all heart and passion and she will fight for anyone she loves. She also has a side to her that most don’t get to see, and I can relate a lot to that. It’s hard to be open when life has hurt you so deeply. She is a survivor and she reminds me that I too will survive.
When I feel like I am overwhelmed by things I need to do and responsibilities are pulling me down, I think of Bill. I remind myself to focus on what is most important and where I can best use my time. I remind myself that I can’t always be everywhere at once, and wherever I am, my attention should be 100%. He also reminds me that when someone needs me, it’s my honor to help.
When I question people’s motives, I think of Mike. It’s hard to think the best of people when you’ve been let down, even when it’s been years, but Mike reminds me that the best is yet to come. Sometimes we’re put through stressful situations to appreciate the great moments.
When I feel insecure and question myself, I think of Jade. She is beautiful and loved and respected and great at her job. She has a loving husband and family and career and she still has self doubts. I allow myself to feel them, but I don’t stay there. She moves forward and I learn from her.
When I’m quiet and people ask if something is wrong, I think of Evan. I learn by observing and it’s a powerful trait to have. Being an introvert doesn’t mean something is wrong or you are unhappy. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is be silent. He reminds me of that.
When I challenge myself to do something new, I think of Elizabeth. She has been through so much and she has paved her way as a dominant figure in a male dominated career. She is feisty and funny and she loves with everything she is. I admire her so much and I aspire to have more of her courage.
When I need time to just think, I think of Ian. There is nothing more relaxing than spending time with animals and helping them. Sometimes it really shows you what you might have been unable to see. Animals don’t allow pity or shame- they simply love and deserve that in return.
When I am tired and I wonder when life will stop testing me, I think of Cassie. I feel her struggles with moving on after a career and her need to challenge herself in other ways. I feel her fears when she’s alone in the darkness and her happiness at being there for her family. It’s a struggle, but we are both winning.
When I’m missing friends who live far away, I think of Jason and Amber and how much fun they are when they mix in with Evan and Liz. I see how they struggle at times to be a part of the family and to fit in. I can relate to that. I am still fighting to find a place for them to belong within the group and I think, at times, I feel that way too.
When I stand up in front of my classroom full of teenagers, I think of Sabrina and how assured she is in all situations. It isn’t that she doesn’t have doubts, but she is fierce and intelligent and she will never back down. She inspires me to always put my best foot forward.
When I sit at home and my anxiety and worry takes over, I think of Tessa. I write her with so much of myself infused in her thoughts and fears that it’s been the best form of therapy I could have. I work through a lot of my issues when I write Tess. She is sensitive to a fault and incredibly giving of herself. I adore her and the woman she has become.
When I think of the person I want to spend time with, drinking, talking, laughing, I think of David. He is the first born of all the kids and he has grown up with the weight of the world on his shoulders. He just wants to make the women in his life happy and he fights his need to be overprotective with his understanding that he can’t stop life from happening. I can’t wait to see the kind of father he will become.
When I fight with myself over what I want to do with what I should be doing, I think of Josie. She is the most fun character to write and her transformation in the last few books has gotten me excited for each new chapter. Her budding relationship with Kevin is just one aspect of her newfound growth that inspires me. She has so much to offer the world and I am thrilled to be able to show her journey.
When I think of courage, I think of Naomi. Nothing has ever been easy for her, but she pushes through every challenge and has never doubted her worth. She is funny and wise and her love for baking is something I pulled from my own life. She is the best part of her parents and the best example of never underestimating anyone. It is a priviledge to write for her.
When I think life has gotten too difficult and stressful, I think of Desi. There is no character I have tortured in more ways than her (even Brittany) and she continues to smile and push ahead. She is made up of my past and my present. She is like me in how she had to change her idea of what she thought her life would look like, but has found happiness in being alive and being present in her life. She is power. She is light.
When I think of frustrations and being misunderstood and struggling to be accepted for who I am, I think of Bryan. He is so much like his father that he can’t see how much Jason loves him. He works to be accepted by a man who already thinks the world of him, but his pride gets in the way. Bryan is strong and passionate and a little too stubborn for his own good. I think most of us can relate.
When I just want to smile and feel like home, I think of Kevin. He has been the most surprising chatcter development in all my years of writing this family. He just makes me smile. He is quiet and compassionate and guarded and smart and handsome and devoted. He is painfully shy, but unapologetically funny. He is a friend who will always answer the phone and the man who will fight for anyone he cares about. I look forward to seeing where his story goes.
When I just need space and need a minute to figure things out, I think of Jimmy. He is my therapist. He is my conscience. He is my need to fix things and my reason to let things go. Jimmy tells me that we can all have a second chance and the things we did in the past don’t define our future.
When I think of the person who most mirrors me, I think of Robbie. He is plagued by the unpredictability of his disease but inspired by the outlook it has given him. He questions his decisions and overthinks everything. He is deeply connected to his mother and her illness has caused him to quietly slip into a depression which has largely gone unnoticed. I adore Robbie. He deserves the best in life.
I guess what I want you all to know, is that I hope you appreciate these characters and stories as much as I’ve loved writing them. Every few months, you go on a small journey with me as we push through life and see what happens to them as they try to navigate the present. On Friday, I hope you will read the next installment and feel closer to the characters and what they represent.
I hope you smile and laugh and probably cry. It’s a family I’ve created out of love for people to simply connect with. To escape. To feel.
Thank you for being a part of my family by choice. It means everything.
Who are your favorites? Did I miss anyone? What are your thoughts?
Click here to preorder Complications
