This is a scene from “Heaven’s Tiny Tears” When Julie was having some trouble with her kidneys. I love writing the scenes between Tommy, Jack and Bill when it has to do with Julie.
He had always known her to be a pillar of strength and tenacity. She was also full of compassion and love and hope and kindness. He knew the side of her no one else saw and he knew her soul. She loved him, unconditionally and she accepted him for all he was and all he did. There was nothing she couldn’t handle and he had put her through the worst. She had loved him through everything and she had given him the best gift in their son. Now, she was fighting to live and to bring his children into the world and all he could do was sit there and watch. That’s what was so wrong about this. Bill never sat and watched. He led the battle, always. He analyzed the threat and he took it out. He was the best and everyone told him that. Looking at his beautiful wife lying in the hospital bed, he felt like a complete and utter failure as a husband, father and man.
“Julie, can you wake up and look at me?” He held her face in his hands and stroked her cheek. She had been asleep for hours and every moment that passed made him more nervous. Tommy and Brittany had gone home and Jack and Stephanie were going to be there soon. Bill was grateful for them, but the only person he needed was his Julie. From the moment he saw her; all he needed was her. He knew it was old fashioned and simple to most, but their love was like a fairy tale. They met each other in their early 20’s and there had never been anyone else. They were each other’s first and only loves and it had stood through the most insurmountable of obstacles. Bill knew it was because of Julie that he was alive. She was his reason for everything and their son was his greatest blessing. He put his hand on her pregnant belly and quietly sobbed.
“Bill?” Stephanie asked as she and Jack knocked softly. The tall soldier wiped his eyes quickly and blushed at his uncharacteristic display of emotion.
“Hi come on in.”
Jack looked at Julie’s vitals and then at Bill.
“Why don’t you take a walk with me and Stephanie will sit with Julie for a bit.”
Bill sighed. “I don’t want to leave. She is afraid I won’t be here when she wakes up and I don’t want her to get scared.”
Stephanie smiled. “It’s okay. I’ll tell her you’re right outside.” He looked at them and knew there was something Jack wanted to talk to him about. He leaned down and kissed his wife softly and nodded at Stephanie before turning to hop on his crutches with Jack.
“Have you slept at all?” Jack asked him, noticing his stubble covered face and the circles under his eyes.
“That’s not what I asked,” Jack smiled and they sat down on a bench.
“What do you want me to say? I don’t care if I sleep or eat or live. It doesn’t matter if she isn’t with me. Nothing matters,” Bill wiped his face and sighed.
“David matters,” Jack said. “He needs his father.”
“No he doesn’t. He needs someone he can count on, and that isn’t me. He needs someone who can provide for him and someone who is a role model. He needs his mother,” he said brokenly.
They both looked up as Tommy and Brittany walked over.
“What’s happening?” Tommy asked. “How is she?”
“Stephanie is in with her. She is the same,” Jack said.
“I’ll go in and sit with them,” Brittany said, seeing the issues Bill was having. She kissed Tommy and walked away.
“So what’s going on?” Tommy looked between the two men.
“Bill is having a small crisis of faith,” Jack smiled and looked at the friend he had known for almost a decade. “Bill, you can’t be like this. Julie can get through this and she needs you to stay strong for her.”
The blonde soldier looked at Jack and then Tommy. “I can’t discuss this with you. I need to go back in there,” he stood up and his leg gave way and he fell to the floor.
The men went to help him and he jerked his arm away.
“Leave me alone,” he yelled.
“No. You can act like an ass all you want, but I’m not going to let you self-destruct. Julie needs you and we will do anything for her, even pick your sorry ass up off the floor,” Jack said as he and Tommy walked and helped Bill back on the chair.
“You don’t understand,” he looked at them. “Do you know how much time we’ve already lost? Do you know what I’ve put her through? I can never give her back those days and fix what she lost. I can never be the man she deserves,” He sighed and faced them. “Please just leave me alone; just let me be.”
Jack shook his head and looked at Tommy. “He is also under the impression that we are going to listen to him.”
Tommy sighed. “Why don’t you believe in your wife?”
Bill shot him a look. “What the fuck does that mean? I believe in my wife.”
“Not if you’re ready to throw in the towel at the first sign of trouble,” Tommy shrugged. “I always knew she could do better.”
Bill rolled his eyes. “Whatever man, I need to go back to sit with her.”
“No, you aren’t going back in there unless you figure out what your purpose is,” Tommy said and crossed his arms.
“What the hell are you talking about? This isn’t your call,” Bill’s eyes flamed.
“Sure it is. Jack and I raised her and love her and I don’t care how much everyone makes fun of our relationship, she is our family and she deserves the benefit of the doubt. When you were brought to the hospital in Germany, Julie asked the doctor if there was the slightest chance you would survive. When she heard there was, she banned any other talk from your room. She wouldn’t let anyone near you who didn’t believe you would be okay. She has more faith in you than you deserve and it’s time for you to return the favor. If you go in there expecting the worst, then you can walk right out,” Tommy glared at him.
Jack waited for the explosion from one of them. He had been in the middle of a lot of Bill and Tommy arguments, but Bill always respected Tommy. This was different and Jack was worried about Bill. He was truly broken. Bill stood up on his crutches and turned away from them, making his way back to the room.
“You need to back off of him. He’s scared to death,” Jack said to Tommy. “I don’t care. My sister needs his complete faith and that’s what she’ll get,” he said and walked after Bill. Jack sighed and shook his head. This was going to be a long day.