I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting over the summer (some might call it procrastinating) as I bring the series to a close. It’s not that I think about the different storylines necessarily or even the characters themselves, but the relationships. I look at this family and think about the impetus for each relationship, outside of the romance(s).
For instance, Tommy and Jack are obviously the reason behind the title “Family by Choice”. I don’t necessarily put Julie there, not because she isn’t a part of it, but because she was the reason, but they made the choice.
I always laugh when people tell me how certain storylines are so far fetched. I always tell them the most ridiculous one is having two 18 year olds adopt a 12 year old and complete med school on time.
I mean really.
But that’s the cool part about writing fiction. I can do that. And knowing Tommy and Jack as I do, it actually seems pretty reasonable. 🙂
Tommy and Jack’s relationship came from a place in romantic fiction which I felt was missing. I read about all of these amazing friendships between women and very few of the men had any real friends. Friends who were there no matter what. Friends who didn’t compete for women, but supported each other in a way brothers would.
I needed that sounding board for each of them.
I couldn’t have Jack always turn to Stephanie. He needed layers. Tommy brought out a side of Jack we needed to see.
Tommy also needed Jack to remind him of who he was. With someone like Jack pushing him, Tommy had no choice but to live.
Julie just added the heart.
Just. Like it’s so little.
I had no idea the amount of love I would get from creating this little family trio. It is a testament to my own family. To bonds created. To the notion that family is forever and those who aren’t blood are no less important.
And the humor of two teenage boys trying to raise a teenage girl practically writes itself.
This was one of my favorites:
“Jules, what are you doing here? How did you get here? Why did you skip school?” Tommy yelled at her.
Jack saw Julie had been crying and he gave Tommy a look. “Did something happen?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Why did you come here?” Tommy asked.
Julie looked at them and turned scarlet. “I had a problem at school.”
Jack looked at Tommy. “What kind of problem? Is someone bullying you?”
Julie rolled her eyes. “I can take care of myself.”
Tommy sighed. “Julie, how did you get here?”
“Promise you won’t blow a gasket?”
Both men stared at her.
“I hitchhiked.”
“Julie Williams I am going to kill you. What were you thinking? You weren’t thinking, you never think. You are going to give me a heart attack. What is wrong with you?” Tommy yelled at her.
She glared at him, her eyes flaming. “I needed to talk to mom, okay. I had a problem and I couldn’t talk to you about it. I can’t discuss this with either one of you,” she began to cry.
Jack had been in the middle of a hundred of these fights. He looked at Tommy. “Take a walk for a minute.”
Tommy glared at Julie before he turned and walked away. Jack sat down and put his arm around Julie. “What’s going on?”
The 13 year old looked at him and Jack decided he was out of his league. He didn’t know what she was going to say and he suddenly felt every bit of his immature 19 years.
“I had a woman problem.”
Shit. Jack looked at her. “Did something happen? Did someone do something to you?”
“No. I became a woman.”
Jack looked at her. “You didn’t have sex, did you? You’re only 13.”
“No I didn’t have sex,” she wiped her eyes. “This is too embarrassing. Just leave me alone.”
Jack took a deep breath. “No. You can tell me.”
She looked down at her hands. “I got my period and I didn’t know what to get. All of my friends are so much more mature and they all have moms to help them. I have to get stuff at the store and I don’t know what I’m doing. I just want to crawl into a hole and die.”
Jack stood up and looked at her. “Wait here,” he walked to Tommy and looked at him. “She got her period. She needs stuff.”
Tommy stared at him. “What? I thought she already had that. Isn’t she old?”
Jack shook his head. “How the fuck do I know? How many teen girls have I raised? Why don’t you sit with her and I’ll go to the store and get some stuff.”
Tommy looked past Jack at Julie. “What do I say to her? I don’t know what to do.”
“Figure it out. I’ll be back.”
Tommy walked over to Julie and sat down. They both looked ahead. “So, do you have any questions?”
Julie looked at him. “You did not just ask me that. I am going to die of embarrassment.”
Tommy wiped his palms on his thighs. “Well I can look it up if I don’t know.”
She stood up and walked to the grave of their mom and sat down. Tommy walked over and she looked at him. “Please leave me alone.”
“No, I can’t do that,” he sat down and looked at the stone with their mom’s name. “What do you think mom would have told you?”
She wiped the tears that fell from her eyes. “It doesn’t matter. She can’t tell me. She’s been dead a year and every day it still hurts. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, Tommy. All of these things are happening to me and I don’t know what’s normal and what’s not. She and daddy are going to miss everything. My friends are going to go through drivers training and their parents are talking about what camps and sports they should play and I am skipping school because I am becoming a woman. I don’t have anyone to talk to and I just want her back. I’m such a loser.”
Tommy pulled her into his arms as she sobbed and he rubbed her back. He felt awful for her and he wished he had some way to help her. “You are not a loser, Jules. I miss them too. I wish mom was here to help you. I wish you didn’t have to think of all of these things and you could just be a kid like everyone else,” he looked at her and wiped her eyes. “Do you want me to talk to one of your friends moms? Maybe they can help you.”
She hugged him. “No. I just need you and Jack; but I’m scared Tommy. How will I know what it means to be a woman? How will I learn what to do?”
He looked up as Jack came over carrying two huge bags. Julie looked again like she wanted to die.
“What the hell did you buy?” Tommy asked.
Julie took the bags and pulled out the packages. “Depends? You bought me diapers?” she yelled incredulously.
“I don’t know, I just grabbed one of everything,” he said sheepishly.
“Jack, you bought every shape and size,” Julie said and burst into tears.
“I’m sorry. I’ll take them back,” he grabbed everything and put them back in the bag.
Julie shook her head and moved to hug him tightly. She moved to hug Tommy as well. “You guys are the best moms ever,” she looked at them. “I love you both so much, but if you ever try to buy me anything like this again, I will kill you.”
Jack smiled and Tommy shrugged. “Deal.”
“Can we go home or should I hitchhike again.”
“Don’t think that’s going to go unpunished,” Tommy said as they walked to the car.
“Jack, you have to talk to him,” she whined.
“Oh no way, Jules, I agree 100%. You could have been killed, or worse.”
“Worse then killed? Isn’t that kind of the worst?” Julie asked.
“I bet you think you’re cute,” Tommy said.
“I know I am.” Julie smiled at them and they all got into the car and drove home.
*****
Another relationship I love is Bill and Mike. Both characters I never intended on writing alive, but both now a true lifeline of the series.
Mike served a really important role for me. I wanted Bill to have someone who understood him from a military perspective, yet also someone who saw himself as truly damaged. One of the saddest scenes I remember writing, for me at least, was when Mike realized he allowed (in his mind) Rebecca to hurt Bill’s family.
Regardless of intent, Mike couldn’t live with the idea that he had any involvement with allowing Bill’s family to be harmed in any way. It was hard enough for him to lose Jimmy, but knowing that Rebecca was truly an evil person and he didn’t see it, just destroyed him.
There is a code, and Mike felt he broke it.
“Mike, I’m so sorry. What can we do to help you?” Julie said softly.
“After I tell you the rest, I don’t think you’ll feel so generous.” He took a deep breath and exhaled before meeting Bill’s gaze.
“I think Rebecca’s the leak in the case and it’s because of me. I don’t know how you’ll ever forgive me.”
“Why would you think that?” Bill sat down opposite them.
“Yesterday, I received new deployment papers and I dreaded telling Rebecca because I thought she would be upset and I didn’t want that. When I finally told her, she was glad. It was a reaction I never expected and when I said that it wasn’t for a combat mission, but rather a training mission, she acted upset, like someone screwed up.”
Julie felt terrible for him. She saw Bill was angry and she knew he was upset for his friend.
“She actually asked me what the probability was that I would be injured.”
Julie stood up and grabbed her purse.
“What are you doing?” Bill asked her.
“I’m going to talk to her. I need to know what the hell her problem is.”
Mike shook his head.
“No, she accused me of having an affair with you. She said that was what I was always doing when I was over here, helping the Sergeant. She said this was my fault because I have always been more devoted to you two and your family than her.”
Bill was stunned and had nothing to say. He couldn’t wrap his mind around this and he realized, for the millionth time, just how much he loved Julie and how lucky he was.
“I still don’t follow why you think the leak is your fault,” Bill said.
“You know she worked in the courthouse,” he began.
“Oh God, Megan’s release,” Julie said as she sat down.
Mike looked at them and shook his head.
“She found out about the perfume and about the cabin from me. I told her about the cave when we looked for your sister before and when we went to the safe house. She had access to all of the info I had and she must have shared it with him.”
“Him? Who?” Bill asked.
“The man she had the affair with is our ex commander, Nick Tiels.”
“Shit,” Bill sat down and sighed. “He was dishonorably discharged after he was caught stealing money for drugs.”
“We turned him in,” Mike said. “It was during our first tour.”
“It wasn’t just us,” Bill said and the realization washed over him.
“Everyone else was killed when we hit the IED,” Mike said and he knew Bill agreed.
“So what, this is payback? Why my sister? Why not just come after me?”
“Because it was an easy target. He works in corrections and he developed a rapport with Janet and Megan. They saw him as a way to get to you and me. Rebecca knew I would help you at all costs.” He was wringing his hands and Julie didn’t know how he would get past this. “I don’t know where the rest fit in. I don’t know how they got to your brother and sister. I don’t know how they pulled it off.”
“Mike, did you know any of this before tonight?” Julie walked over and sat on the coffee table facing him.
“No, God no. I would never, ever do anything to hurt you or anyone in your family. He faced Bill. My God, you carried me through that hell hole and you have been the closest thing to family I’ve ever had, all of you,” Mike stared at both of them and Julie smiled.
“Then you have nothing to be sorry for. What Rebecca did is on her, and we would never think any different about you,” Julie looked at Bill and saw his eyes were wet.
“You are family and we never turn our back on our family. Whatever we need to do to help you through this, consider it our top priority,” Julie hugged Mike and turned to Bill.
“I’m going to go to bed. I think you two should talk. You are welcome to stay here if you want.”
Bill and Mike are complicated. They are both specialists in their fields and they both live to serve and protect. When that fails, they both struggle with what to do.
When I wrote Julie “dying”, one of the ways I showed just how messed up the situation became was in the following scene with Mike.
Mike walked back to the medical waste room and saw Bill sitting there. He had searched the roof and when he couldn’t find him, he realized just what he would do in the situation.
He wanted to suffer like she did.
The smell was overpowering, but Mike had been through worse. He and Bill had been through burning flesh and more combat than anyone should see. He knew, at the moment, Bill wasn’t noticing anything like the smell.
“Sergeant, can you come out?” he asked softly as he walked in. The police had quartered off the crime scene and Bill was sitting where he had found Julie.
Bill didn’t respond and Mike walked farther inside. He sat down next to his friend and sighed.
“I think you need to talk to Tommy and Jack.”
There was still no response and Mike glanced at him.
“I’m sorry.”
“Get out of here,” Bill finally said.
“No, I won’t leave you behind.”
Bill took out his gun and pointed it at Mike.
“Get away from me before I shoot you.”
“You won’t shoot me.”
Bill looked at him and then at his hands.
“If I had found her sooner, she would be alive.”
“You don’t know that,” Mike said.
“Her heart exploded. I didn’t even know that could happen. She died because I took too long.”
Mike didn’t know the details, but to hear him say it just made his sadness unbearable.
“You need to be with your family,” he said.
“You lived with that woman for years,” he said about Rebecca. “You should have known. You should have forced her to tell you where my wife was. We fucked up and went to Janet and now,” Bill stopped and his face was blank.
Mike wiped his face and nodded.
“You’re right. This is my fault and I have no one to blame but myself.”
Bill stood up and put his gun away.
“Well that should make everything better,” he said and glared at Mike before he went to leave.
Mike jumped up and followed him out into the hall.
“Please stop,” he said to Bill. “You need to come back,” he said and was stopped by Bill’s fist smashing his face, sending Mike to the floor. Bill turned and left.
I love their relationship. I love that they have each other and that nothing will ever be too much.
Mike has been a bright spot in this series, and his relationship with Jade has connected both of them in a way I never predicted.
I have so many of these ‘favorites”.
What are some of your favorite friendships? Vote below 🙂
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