Valentine Special

I will be posting a few updates tonight showcasing my favorite moments of each couple. I would love to hear about your favorites, as well.

Jack and Stephanie are my anchor couple. It’s not that they are stronger than any of the others or more in love, but they connect my story in a way no other character does. Jack likes to protest  that he grew to be an arrogant and selfish doctor who cared little for the personal lives of his patients. He enjoyed life and women and work, but he never gave his heart to anyone.

Stephanie always believed she would be on the sidelines; watching the happiness of her friends. She was always the one people called and relied on, but she never tried to find love for herself. She was guarded and sensitive and it was easier to spend time alone than try and explain her personality to others.

Looking at their pasts, it’s hard to see how they would ever meet, let alone fall in love. Jack was the arrogant womanizer and Stephanie was the sensitive introvert.

But sometimes, fate steps in when you least expect it, and need it the most.

The following scene is one of my favorites between Jack and Stephanie. It was early in their pairing and Jack was finding it harder and harder to keep his distance. It wasn’t because he wanted anything from her. It wasn’t because he felt she needed him. It was simply because she was hurting, and he needed her to know her worth.

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“So you have just decided to be alone for the rest of your life. Some psycho tells you that you are worthless for years and threatens to kill anyone you get close to, so you acquiesce and punish yourself. What about love, Stephanie? What about affection and connection to another human being? What about the joy of waking up next to another person who loves you unconditionally. What about sharing your joys and your failures with someone?” he walked to her and knelt in front of her.

“Who do you think you are? The last I heard, you were Mr. love them and leave them. Who are you to preach this to me? You don’t know anything about what I want or feel. Do you think this is easy for me? Do you think I want to be alone? I don’t want any of this,” she stood up and was yelling at him. “I would love to live a happily married life with a wonderful husband and kids who worship me. I want to work a long day and come home and eat out of paper boxes while watching television with my husband. I want to have fun and have love, but it isn’t easy. It is a fairy tale that won’t come true for me. You don’t get to stand there and analyze me like you have lived one second in my shoes. You just don’t understand,” She felt her legs wobble and the intensity of the moment took her breath away.

“Hey, hey, Steph,” He was there and holding her immediately. “Shhh, I’m sorry, you’re right, you don’t owe me any explanation,” he felt terrible, making her so angry when she was in a vulnerable state. “Let’s just sit for a minute,” he sat down on the couch with her and got her some water.

Stephanie looked at him, her heart pounding wildly. “You don’t understand what I see when I look at you,” she inched forward toward him. “Everything you said to me is everything I see when I look at you. I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to be scared all the time. I wish my friend was here to tell me what to do. I wish I could erase the image of her lifeless body in my arms,” she let her tears spill over her cheeks. “I wish you had met me when I was strong and confident and open. I wish I could see the world like you do, opportunities and optimism. I wish,” She stopped, as he was inches from her face. She looked into his eyes and touched his face, his skin like velvet and his lips soft and slightly parted. “I wish I could let myself go and kiss you like you deserve to be kissed,” she said breathlessly and his mouth was on hers in an instant. She felt a rush of intense emotion overcome her as he wrapped his strong arms around her back. She eagerly welcomed his lips against hers and she gave herself to the moment. She wrapped her arms gingerly around him, pulling him to her. He pulled back after what seemed like a long time and they both were silent.

Jack looked at her, swollen lips and flushed cheeks. “Stephanie,” He started to speak, but for once in his life, a woman took his breath away. He simply looked into her eyes.

Stephanie didn’t know what to do. She wasn’t sure how to react. She knew it was wrong to give him false hope, but she knew it was too late. She was smitten. Jack traced her cheek and her chin with his finger. “You are so wrong,” he said to her.

“What?” she asked him with a puzzled look.

“I met you at the exact moment I was supposed to,” he tucked her long hair behind her ear.

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This next excerpt is much later in their marriage and things were a mess because of everything happening outside of their control. However, Jack had taken it upon himself to be a jerk to Tommy and Julie and in a way, to Stephanie. I love this conversation because it truly shows just how connected they are and how passionate their commitment is to each other. Jack needed to let go of his guilt over what happened to his wife. This was the beginning.

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“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just need to sit for a minute. I’ll be right in.”

He went to pick her up and she moved his hands away.

“I don’t need you to carry me, Jack. I just need a minute.”

“Why can’t you let me help you? Why do you have to be so stubborn?”

She glared at him and shook her head.

“I am not being stubborn. I don’t want you to carry me. I don’t want any help. I just want a minute, okay?”

He stood up and stormed into the bedroom. Stephanie exhaled and closed her eyes, furious with the whole situation. She tried to relax, knowing her stress made everything worse. She was startled when he came back in.

“You are being incredibly selfish. If you need me, why can’t I help you? I don’t understand why you always have to push me away.”

Her eyes burned with tears and anger.

“What are you talking about? I’m being selfish? You’re the one who wants to help me so you can feel like you are “fixing” something. I don’t need to be fixed, Jack,” she yelled at him. “I’m not broken and I just need a fucking minute. Why can’t I just need a minute?”

He picked up a book and threw it against the wall before he turned and walked out of the house and into the backyard.

Stephanie took a few deep breaths and stood up, her legs shaking but stronger. She knew it was chilly out there and he was only wearing a pair of pajama shorts.

She took the blanket on the side of the couch and walked slowly outside.

“Here. It’s cold.”

He turned and shrugged.

“I’ll live.”

They both stared at each other and realized the irony of his words. It was cold and they both shivered.

“Stephanie,” he began. “I’m sorry. That was really insensitive.”

“Whatever. You don’t have to walk on eggshells around me. Most people do fine in the cold. I must be weak, you know, because I always need help,” she turned and stalked back into the house.

“Fuck,” he walked after her.

“Stephanie, stop. I didn’t mean to start a fight.”

“Didn’t you?” she looked at him. “I mean I get it. You’re pissed off at the situation Tommy and Brittany are in. You’re pissed off that I am not normal and I have these issues you don’t understand. I get it all, but you are crazy if you think I will let you dictate how I react to my own body. I am not having an exacerbation or anything worse. I just needed a minute. I got a little overheated It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last. I know my body and not everything has to be made into an ordeal. I can’t live like that. I won’t let you make me into an invalid.”

“I’m not trying to do that. I’m not making everything an ordeal. I don’t know why I picked a fight but sometimes I feel like it’s the only way you’ll tell me what you’re really feeling. I don’t think you’re weak and I certainly don’t think you need help, I just need you to need me. I need to be the person who makes it okay for you. I need to be as important to you as you are to me.”

She was stunned and looked at him.

“Jack, how could you think you’re not?”

He paced in the family room.

“How have I ever been the one to help you? I wasn’t the one to find you. Elizabeth flew the copter and Mike and Bill and Evan rescued you. Mike and Bill tracked you and Tommy and Brittany took over immediately after they found you. I did nothing but watch. I did nothing, Stephanie, and you and Tessa were all but dead. What the fuck kind of a man does that? I can help Jade and Brittany and Bill and when it came to the most important person in the world to me, I did nothing. How can you even look at me?” he asked and looked at his hands. “I did nothing.”

She ran her hands through her hair and plopped onto the couch.

“Come here,” she said firmly.

“Never mind,” he began.

“Come here!” she said in a voice that he hadn’t heard. He did as she asked and sat next to her.

“They would have found a dead body.”

“What?”

“If it wasn’t for you, I would have died. Elizabeth and Mike and Bill and Evan and whoever else was a part of it would have found my body. Tommy and Brittany wouldn’t have had anyone to save. Nothing meant anything to me except you.”

She looked up into his eyes and put her hand on his chest.

“The only thought in my mind was you. The only reason I fought was because of you. I spent every minute thinking and recounting every moment since I met you. I relived our first kiss and the first time you held me. I felt your hands on my body and the way I felt like a woman for the first time in my life because of how you touched me. I remembered how much we ached for each other and how beautiful it was when we made love. I would never leave you and I couldn’t wait to be in you arms again. If it hadn’t been for you, I would have bundled Tessa up and left her to be saved and simply said goodbye. You think you did nothing? God Jack, you did everything. You are everything.”

He nodded and was ashamed at his behavior.

“I’m sorry. You’re right and I didn’t mean to be such an ass. I just love you so much and,” he was silenced when she pulled him to her and pressed her mouth to his.

“I love you, too,” she said breathlessly.