Where have I been?
That’s a good question. So much as happened over the past few months, it’s hard to put it all into words.
For me- that’s saying something.
Ending the series on book 30 was something I decided months ago. I was happy with my decision, although it was definitely bittersweet. I knew the story I wanted to tell had come to a close, and it was a nice number to end with.
What I didn’t anticipate, was the craziness which would envelope my life around the same time as book 30 was released.
Writing, for me, has been therapeutic. I fell into the world of this family by choice when my own world fell apart. I needed something I could control, something I could manage because much of my life seemed out of hand. For a type A personality, there is nothing scarier than feeling like you have no control over what happens.
I chose November 22 as the release date for Her Legacy because it was Thanksgiving and the 9th anniversary of my dad’s death. I wanted to mark the day with something big; something I could focus on which would help distract from the sadness the day represents. I was proud. I was happy. I knew my dad would have loved to see what I accomplished.
At the same time, things at work suddenly became a mess. My schedule changed and I was thrust into a kind of chaos that was paralyzing at times. My health was a concern. My sanity was a concern. My need to control things took over and much of my life fell apart.
My aunt also became gravely ill and the cancer she fought for so long took over everything.
My life was in turmoil, and the one thing I had relied on to help me gain clarity was gone.
I stopped writing.
When you go through something as profound as losing a parent, you develop skills to cope. I had relied so heavily on those skills, that when they were gone, I was lost.
I was running myself ragged. Working like crazy to complete projects. Grading things for my students. Being there for my family. Trying to take care of my health.
Something had to give.
It’s weird when you think of what can cause a break.
It wasn’t the stress of work, or the illness in my family, or the anniversary of my dad’s death or the ending of the series.
I went to my neurologist for my 3 month checkup. I have had the same neurologist for 14 years. I saw him every 3 months for 14 years. He got me through my diagnosis. He gave me confidence that I would be okay.
He told me he was retiring. This would be our last visit.
That did it.
It’s weird, I know, and I’m so happy for him on his retirement, but I felt like things were spiraling out of control. This was the cliff. I was going over.
What could I count on? My health wasn’t a guarantee. My medication was causing issues. Stress at work was at an all time high. My family was in crisis. I wasn’t writing. I stopped going to the gym.
I got sick with some sort of virus which invaded my head and chest.
Something had to change.
On Christmas day, my Aunt passed away and we learned later that my Uncle in Florida passed away, too.
Two people in my life who had shaped much of the person I am were gone.
It was a gut punch.
My anxiety grew. My need to do everything resulted in me doing nothing. I was falling into a pit I recognized, but had trouble stopping.
So I made a choice.
I began to write again. I didn’t know where the story was going or if it was going anywhere, but I needed to find my voice. I needed to go back to therapy in a way. I needed my family by choice to help me.
It’s not as if I don’t write other things. I have three stories in the works which I can’t wait to finish. It’s a challenge to write something different; to challenge myself and move out of my comfort zone. But like anything else, when things are falling apart, change can be hard.
So I went back to my family by choice. I spoke to them. I leaned on them and I found a new story to tell. I moved the series ahead six years and I began to discover who everyone was in that new universe. Who was still around? Who spoke to whom? What had changed?
I focused on the kids who were now adults and how their lives had changed over six years. I focused on what the parents had been through and how they had evolved. I began to see a new story form and opportunities that never would have existed as the series was before.
I have had people write reviews and email me messages on how the series went on too long. I should have ended it a long time ago. The books are repetitive. They aren’t believable.
I hear you, and I value your opinion.
But I write what’s in my heart and on my mind. I developed this family and they are living breathing characters.
I am not ready to say goodbye. I want to see how they grow up. I want to watch Jack and Stephanie with grand kids. I want to see Mike when his twins fall in love. I want to cheer Josie on when she becomes who she was meant to be.
I want to see David in a classroom as a teacher. I want to watch Sabrina find her way in the fashion industry. I want to know Tessa found a career she loved.
I am excited for this new spin on the series. I’m excited to show a different aspect of the kids we grew to love.
I am getting back on track, and I hope you will come with me. I know, sometimes, being comfortable is necessary. I have a lot in my life that is still in chaos. My writing is not.
Look for more information soon on Family by Choice…The Next Chapter.
I would love to hear from you guys- any comments? Thoughts?
