Love Endures.
The name is so important to what this book represented both in the words and story and to me. At the time I was writing, I needed to know that love endured. The first five book titles speak to what this series had to do. Nothing matters, if only love endures the unexpected darkness. I didn’t know if love could endure the darkness. I didn’t know how to deal with the unexpected.
I didn’t know how to find a way out of the darkness.
It seemed, at times, that nothing mattered. If only I had more time.
I don’t mean to take this into a dark turn, because I think I was dealing with a very normal reaction to a pretty tragic set of circumstances. We all need time to go through things that are difficult.
It’s important that we don’t stay in those moments.
I was sad. I was scared of what my life looked like now. I was waiting for my body to rebel and for my MS to rear its ugly head.
I mean, why not? My life was falling apart and I could do nothing to stop any of it.
This was when Bill and Julie were truly born.
I know I have told the story of how I was going to have Bill killed overseas and then have his story told through Julie’s memories.
I truly didn’t intend on ever writing him in the present.
But I needed love to endure. I needed something good to happen.
I needed to give the characters the miracle my family didn’t get.
I could do that.
So I did.
And looking back at all Bill has meant to this series, I think it was worth it.
Bill and Julie are really my only ‘love at first sight’ couple. They both saw each other and were both enamored, but neither one had any idea what it meant to be in a relationship.
I wanted Bill to appear strong and brave and handsome and infallible. I needed him to be everything a hero appeared to be from the surface.
And then I told his story.
To be honest, I write in a way that infuriates some. I am what you call a ‘pantser’ which is someone who writes by the seat of her pants.
When I wrote Love Endures, I didn’t know Bill would turn out to be Brittany’s brother. I also didn’t know his father was involved in her attack.
I hadn’t planned that far in the future. I thought this would be a short series and it would revolve around three couples.
How wrong I was.
Bill and Julie became my heart. It was different from Tommy and Brittany and even Jack and Stephanie.
Tommy and Jack call Julie ‘the glue’.
She and Bill are my ‘glue’.
They read each other in a way others don’t.
Julie willed him to live, to fight.
He willed her to love and to believe in her worth.
I loved their sarcasm and their humor. I loved how Julie didn’t have to be anyone other than who she was because Bill adored her.
I also loved how she didn’t shy away from his issues, either. He couldn’t hide anything from her.
She is nothing if not tenacious.
One of my most favorite moments between Bill and Julie came when she went to Germany and saw him for the first time. I still wasn’t sure he would make it when I wrote this scene. She helped to convince me.
Julie walked slowly into the curtained area and could barely see him through all of the bandages, tubes and wires. She nodded to the nurse who was adjusting the IV and waited until she was done before moving closer to the bed. The nurse smiled at her and moved a chair closer to the bed before leaving. Julie silently thanked her and finally made her way to her husband.
His blond crew cut was visible under the bandage on his forehead. He had oxygen in his nose but his face looked relatively normal. His arms were uncovered and there were cuts and bruises covering much of his exposed skin. She was unable to see anything else, because he was tightly covered. She felt her tears flow as she reached to touch his face, her hand hesitant to make contact for fear she would hurt him.
“I’m here, my Billy. My love, I’m here,” she said softly and leaned in to brush his lips with hers. She reached and took his hand in hers, careful not to move any part of him.
“Jules?” he said weakly.
She almost wept at his voice. “I’m here baby,” she touched his cheek and he opened his eyes, their clear sapphire going right to her heart.
“Am I dreaming?”
“No, I’m here with you. You’re going to be fine. I love you,” she wiped her eyes, knowing how he hated when she cried.
“I love you. I’m so sorry,” he said brokenly.
“Shh, there will be none of that. You are going to be fine. I’m here and I will not leave you. You are going to be fine,” she stroked his fingers.
“This wasn’t supposed to happen. I was supposed to grow old with you,” he felt his own tears fill his eyes and if there was one thing she couldn’t stand, it was seeing him cry. She wiped his tears.
“We are going to grow old together. You need to believe that. I will accept nothing less,” she leaned in close to him and stroked his cheek. “Do you feel this? I’m all yours, baby. You have no choice but to fight for me and your son. I need you and you promised me a life full of babies,” she smiled. “You will keep your promise.”
He closed his eyes. “I’m so tired, Jules. I don’t think I can do this. I am broken; something really bad happened to me, I can feel it.”
She felt her heart break into a million pieces. “William, you need to look at me,” she waited. “Look at me right this instant,” she spoke forcefully.
He looked at her and she held his face in her hands. “Now I need you to listen to me. You face down an enemy every day and you never back down. This time, the enemy is here, in your face; and you will not back down; do you hear me? You are to challenge it and fight, and that is a direct order,” she leaned close to him. “I am fighting with you and together, we cannot lose.”
He looked at her. “I can’t move. I can’t feel anything. How can I fight?” he closed his eyes again.
She took a deep breath, trying to control her emotions. “Let me tell you something,” she waited for him to open his eyes. “When I touch you, I can feel your heart beating. I am not in love with your parts, baby, I am in love with your heart. If something doesn’t work, we will find another way. That’s what we do. We don’t give up or give in, we fight and we find a way,” she wiped his tears again, “Remember? What you see is what you get.”
He held her gaze. “What you see is what you get.”
She nodded. “Now all you need to concentrate on is surviving. Whatever else happens, we will deal with it together, as a family. You just need to live for me and for our son.”
His chin quivered as he listened to her. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to leave you.”
“Then don’t. Don’t give in to your fear or pain. You can do this, please Billy, you need to fight with everything you have. Please do it for me. I can’t live without you.
Another favorite was a scene which showed Julie’s fierce loyalty to her family. A lot of Love Endures, prior to Bill being injured, focused on Tommy and Brittany and her time on life support. A big reason they were able to try to help her was because of the trap Julie used to get Megan. I can tell you at the time, I had no idea the extent Megan would come to play in the series, but she was someone who needed to be caught.
Julie looked at her. “I think I forgot to mention something that might be important.”
Megan nodded. “What is it?”
“I totally forgot to mention my last name, before I was married, was Williams. You know, for someone who stole records, you sure missed a lot. Tommy is my brother and Brittany is my sister,” she stood up and walked to the door and opened it, allowing Jack to walk in and the officers to follow. Megan turned white and Julie continued. “My husband is right now putting his life on the line fighting for freedoms for people like you and it makes me sick. My brother is a hero and if you were the last woman on earth, he wouldn’t give you a glance.” Jack walked up to Julie and touched her arm. She turned and watched as the police handcuffed Megan. “You got everything?”
Jack nodded. “We need to get upstairs.”
Julie nodded and turned to Megan who was being read her rights. “You are a sad excuse for a human being,” she said and walked over to her. She slapped her hard across the face and the police stepped forward. “Sorry, I slipped,” she said and turned around and walked out with Jack.
Bill and Julie’s story is one I go back to time and time again. I am incredibly proud of the bond Jack, Tommy and Julie have, but I needed Julie to be someone who existed outside of the tragedy she endured. I needed Bill to be someone worth more than his mother and father believed.
I needed a true love story that defied every odd.
Bill and Julie embody Love Endures.
And it helped me to believe in those words.
Favorite Bill and Julie moments? Vote below:)
I will share all of the results after a few more updates.
Oh, and I promise I will tell the story of why Julie loves jelly donuts…
