Thoughts on Brittany

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the character of Brittany. So many people ask me where I got the idea for the series or the characters in particular, and although much of what I write has evolved a lot from conception to what you see now, some things haven’t changed.

In 1996, I had graduated from college with my degree in English language and literature and I had no idea what I wanted to do. I was working at a veterinary hospital which I loved, but had nothing whatsoever to do with my degree. I was dabbling in community theatre and singing, but again, not as a career. I was a little lost, and although happy, I knew something was missing.

Long before I ever told anyone, in fact, it would be 12 years before I shared any of this, I created the character of Brittany. She wasn’t named Brittany at the time, but that would come later. I had her in my head. I wanted to write a love story where the heroine has to overcome something traumatic in order to find who she has always been. I wanted her to always be strong, but I also knew the vulnerability that would be just below the surface. It wasn’t something many people would see, and it was something she would guard intensely. Her HIV was always in my head. I needed her to deal with something that couldn’t simply be “fixed”. So many people have elements of their lives they wish they could remove, and they can’t. It doesn’t mean they can’t lead amazing lives. That was a sticking point for me with Brittany and one that has caused numerous publishers to turn away from.

I knew she would suffer a rape, and the HIV would be a result of that, but the details were sketchy. My initial plan was to have her meet Tommy (although I didn’t know his name) and she would be attacked early in their relationship. I had a grand idea of how he could love her through the pain and their story would be one of her learning she could be okay. His love would ‘save’ her.

How cliché.

How boring.

If you know me, how not me.

Then I realized that the character I was creating had the inner strength that so many of us have, but don’t believe in. I decided the attack would have happened years before and it was buried in a way that effected every relationship she had from that point forward. Brittany’s ability to move forward from such a horrific event was a testament to her strength, but it also showcased a deep flaw. She had never truly dealt with the extent of what happened, and when it began to come to the forefront, she didn’t have the skills to deal with it. She was almost back in the mindset of an 18 year old who woke up in a hospital room all alone.

I wanted her to be someone people looked up to. I wanted her to be a symbol of hope. I wanted her to be someone people could relate to. I needed her to be incredibly flawed. She survived, but she wasn’t truly living. She faced the monster and had won, but she lost her belief that she could have more. She is my hero, and she makes me crazy.

Her story of being a pop star was really important because of the depth of change she had to endure. I also never wanted her music to be something that caused her shame or embarrassment. She adored singing and the connection singing had to her father was something I always wanted to keep. Part of her merging those lives together was embracing the joy music brought into her life and not the pain. She hid her music and kept that part of her secret. She never gave it up, she just made it something that brought her comfort, and no one else.

She needed someone to help her see that what happened wasn’t who she was. She needed someone to see the woman behind the façade.

That’s where the love story really began.

Tommy was almost as closed off as Brittany was. He did what he had to do in order to survive, but it left him with some deep scars. He had never been the one anyone fought for. He had never considered his life to be anything special. He had never believed he was meant for more.

Having Brittany’s attack and the accident on the same day wasn’t something I planned until the characters realized it, but it made perfect sense. The people they were died on that day and when they met each other, it was a bit like they remembered who they used to be, and that person wasn’t so bad.

Their story, to me, is less about rescue and more about realism. Tommy isn’t the knight in shining armor many would look for, but he is perfect for Red. She isn’t a woman who will allow him to hide within his past and he challenges her to want more from life. They infuriate each other and they challenge each other, but there is not a stronger love. They are soul mates.

The Brittany I created in my room in 1996 isn’t exactly the same woman you have grown to know, but at her core, she is. She is feisty and beautiful and strong and vulnerable. She is an inspiration and she has value.

She is my hero.

FYI-

In the next 12 years, I went back to school, got a theatre degree and my teaching degree and after 10 years as a veterinary technician, I started my career as a high school English/Writing teacher. I didn’t allow anyone to know or read anything I wrote until 2009.

Thank you for reading! Any questions?